One of the hardest parts of parenthood for me:
Even when you’re having a hard day, week, or month, someone is depending on you to make them smile. There is no hiding under the covers or turning down the blinds and crying it out. It’s about stuffing it away. (Typing that felt unhealthy) There have been weeks where I have missed my moment to release those negative feelings, those negative thoughts.
This has been one of those weeks.
I’m finding it hard to remember what it feels like to start new, be refreshed and rejuvenated.
My back hurts, my belly aches, my head throbs and my chest feels tight. Really though, it’s my heart that feels worn down and overworked.
I’m sure it will pass and I remember that life isn’t really about my own adventure anymore. It’s about Elliotte. It’s about my husband. It’s about my family.
I work another 11 hour shift today, and when it’s done, I will go home… Open the blinds… Turn the lights on and I will give all of my love to my daughter. I will make her smile; my reason to turn down the covers tomorrow and start another day.